On Name Changing.

No two ways about it.
This is a toughie.

I always thought I would change my name when I got married. Never even crossed my mind to consider othewise. When I would mention how difficult it was going to be to decide which names to keep (I have two middle names) when I changed my name, people would always say "Well, you can just keep your name" and I would say "No, I want to change it."

And I do. I can not stress that point enough. I love my husband, and I want to be Mrs. Hislastname.

And yet.

I haven't done it.

Legally changed my name I mean.

I didn't realize how attached I was to being Sarah French until I was about to give it up.

I mean, for one thing roughly half of the people I met during college still call me "Sarah French". I have never been Sarah, always Sarah French. I'm not even entirely sure how it came about, but it did stick. And while I realize changing my name isn't likely to change what they call me, it still resonated with me.

Also, (and I'm playing couch pyschologist now aren't you pschyed?!) it took me a really really long time to be happy with who I was. It took me a long time to like myself. And my name was part of that, and is still a part of me. Perhaps on some level, it feels like regression. Like taking my husband's last name (which is unquestionably prettier and more exotic then mine) is saying that I didn't like who I was, and was waiting for him to change me into someone I do like.

This is coming out badly, excuse me.

I guess it boils down to identity. And what I didn't realize was how much I idenitfy who I am with "Sarah French". I've been Sarah French for 26 years. That name has taken me to foreign countries, survived heartache I thought I would never recover from, saw both my parents go through major life threatening illness, and been shouted by friends (in both joy and not joy) more times then I can count.

And while I know intellectually that just because my name is changing it isn't changing who I am (let's get real, it's just a name, and if you met me during college, chances are good you're going to be calling me "SarahFrench" for the rest of our lives) it feels...big. Like it does mean I'm becoming someone brand new. Which is kind of fun, and kind of scary. Like I said, it took me a long long time to like who I am.

But after this weekend, I just feel a kind of peace about it. It's time. I'm ready.

And I finally came up with a solution about my myriad of name that makes me happy. Which is probably a large part of it too.

But if you ever address mail to me "Mrs. Anthony Hislastname" I might send it back to you.

Cause dude. I am "Sarah French Hislastname". Not an appendage.

Edit: I'm still working on the paperwork. But hey. At least I'm working on it?

a thought.

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

-- Rita Rudner

Taking a moment to appreciate my hubby today.

He's a keeper.

Anyone have some inexpensive, creative date night ideas to share?

We've done a picnic in the park (with a little soccer or frisbee tossing, of course) and a few other inexpensive dates like netflix movie with wine, etc.  

xoxo Susannah

found: blog post

Find of the day: another blog by an adorable newlywed couple.  They've been blogging for about a year, and I came across their blog through Pinterest, of all places.

Anyway, check out this post:

 It's a whole post on advice for newlyweds, from newlyweds.  They have some lovely things to say, and I love the suggestions.

See for yourself!

xoxo Susannah

birthday fun

via

For my birthday last week, we spent the whole weekend doing fun things. Friday night was dinner in with the husband and my birthday presents from him.  Saturday was a day in town visiting the big flea market.  Saturday evening, we went bowling with a few friends, and Sunday afternoon was a baseball game!  It was a lovely weekend, and one of the only times the hubby has had a three day weekend, which made it even better.

So, I was thinking.

How, exactly, are we (those of us watching our budgets) supposed to celebrate birthdays in a fun way that doesn't stress the wallet?  A few ideas for your consideration!

1.  Do those things you always say you're going to do but never have time for. 

2. Stay in town instead of taking a trip, but act like a tourist.

3. Do an activity like bowling or game night with friends.

4. Check out deals on Groupon, LivingSocial, or TravelZoo.

Have any other ideas to share?  This was only our first birthday as a married couple and we have lots to learn, but these are our preliminary ideas for this go around.

xoxo Susannah

birthday!

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.  First, let her think she's having her own way.  And second, let her have it.  

--Lyndon B. Johnson

Hah! Hilarious, no?  Is it true?  (Maybe you shouldn't answer that...)

This week is my birthday!  Hubby is planning most of the birthday things, so I have no idea what's on the menu, but I do always love celebrating birthdays.  And not just my own birthday, if that's what you're thinking.  :)

Birthdays are a chance to celebrate, to spend time with people you enjoy, and to eat inappropriate amounts of dessert.

So, for this week, I do believe I'm allowed to have my own, if only in the dessert department.

Apologies on the short post this week.  This is a week of big life changes for me, and not just because of the birthday. Updates soon!

xoxo Susannah

The Moving Saga Part 2

So yesterday you heard the story of how the studio came to be.
Today I shall share with you the lengths the husband and I will go to for a good apartment (More then most if my friends' reactions are any indication)
Also I promise no more grand language.

So.

The lease on our old place was going to end 10 days before we could get into our new studio.* As fate would have it, we were scheduled to be out of town anyway over the weekend because I was running a wedding, and my husband was assisting me.
So that left us with about 7 days where we needed to sleep somewhere, and store our stuff.

First up: The stuff

While we explored the idea of a POD (basically a portable storage unit that you park on the street), it proved wicked expensive. So we thought about renting a UHAUL for the 10 days and parking it in front of our new apartment. Also wicked expensive.
This is where my lovely husband stepped in (possibly to keep me from tearing my hair out). A storage unit was found with a great deal and good review.
So it was decided. We would pack up our apartment, load it onto a UHAUL, unpack it at a storage unit and  re-load it onto a UHAUL in 10 days.

Stuff done.

Next up: Where to sleep
So. We are nowhere close to being the Rockefellers. So while this might be easy enough for some people "Just rent a hotel room for 10 days!" Yeah. Not happening. We are newlyweds and money is tight**
A plan was created.
A friend generously offered to let us stay on her living room floor for the first few nights of our odyssey.
Tip: A twin air mattress is only meant to support the weight of one person, not two.
Then we trecked out to the wedding site for a Sarah French Events wedding( :D)
Which left us with a five day, four night period of where to sleep.
Which is where the lovely site www.airbnb.com comes in.*** If you've never been to that site, airbnb is a website that allows homeowners and renters with extra bedrooms (or, apartments that they're never in) to list their rooms. You can stay there for a day or multiple weeks. It's a super great site for when you're moving to a new area, have a lease overlap, or are budget traveling. They also have reviews about the owners/rooms so you have a better idea of who you're sharing a house with.
 We found a room to rent that was in the same neighborhood as our new place. It was pretty, affordable, and conveniently located.
Done.

*Whew*

And now, it's D-Day. And it's raining. Lord be with us.

See you on the other side!

UPDATE: All of our stuff and us are in the studio. I can't find the hardware for the bedframe, and we are exhausted. So essentially, all is right with the world. :)

* Originally, it was going to be 15 days, so this was actually good news.
**Those two things don't have to go together, but they often do.
***This is not a paid advertisement, airbnb doesn't know me from Anne of Green Gables. They're just awesome.

The Moving Saga part 1

That sounds like the beginning of some epic adventure story right?

Well...the husband and I have had a pretty epic move this time.

Let me begin.

It all starts back in June/July when your lovely red-headed heroine was desperately searching for a new apartment.* The need was great, the specifications were bountiful.

Time wore on and our red-head and her partner in crime saw more apartments then they could count. And like the princess and the pea, all were rejected. "The carpet is ugly" "It's too small"** "Too expensive".

And then...our heroine and her partner found the perfect place. Good price, lovely hardwood floors, a gas stove.

Half a day later, an e-mail was sent.

Someone had taken the apartment on the spot a few hours prior.

Much teeth gnashing and a few tears.

And then...the grand and glorious studio.

It was perfect! Hardwood floors, amazing rent, and oh a deck!

"We must have it!" cried our heroine. Her partner agreed.

Then the But....

They could not move in until 10 days after their current lease ended.

"We'll find a solution! I can't look at apartments for one more second!"

And now....you're pretty much caught up to speed.

Tune in tomorrow when part 2 of our saga is posted!

*The husband was helping, but as the half with more pecularities about where I live and more time, I spearheaded the search.
**Seriously, some of these "one bedrooms" were probably half the size of the new studio we are moving into. I could barely open some of the doors.

when you don't have time

As some of you may know, the hubby and I don't get as much time together as most newlyweds. He works mostly evenings, and I work "typical" office hours during the day. I'm up early, he's home late. He used to be guaranteed Sundays off, but these days it seems like he never gets them, so there are no days in the week that we both have off at the same time.

However, I'm not throwing a pityparty.  This is what we have now and we're making it work.

In light of that, a few suggestions on spending time together when you don't have time, and making the most of what you have:

1.  Be awake. When the mister gets home after midnight, I do my best most nights to stay awake and wait up.  "That's crazy!" you say.  Well, yes. I'm up early for my own job, so why would I stay up until 1am?  The answer: because if I don't, we won't see each other. Hubby does the same; he wakes up for 10-15 minutes with me in the mornings before I head off to work, then falls promptly back to sleep.  If we weren't awake, we wouldn't get any time together. It'll make you tired, but for us, it's worth it.  And you know what? That's why God invented coffee. And weekends. And naps.

2.  Be present.  If you're only getting limited time together, you should be fully invested when you do get time.  Sitting and watching a movie is fantastic, but if you completely ignore each other all evening just to relax, you've let hours slip by that you can't get back. If you both happen to be home and need some time together, maybe the dishes or cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry can wait.

3.  Make time. Can't say this enough.  If you want to see someone, make the time. Write it down, send text messages, create a schedule, brainstorm date night ideas, whatever it takes.

4.  Communicate.  Seems silly, right? Of course you're going to communicate. Well, when you don't see someone, communication becomes more...screen-based: texts, gchat, email, phone, etc. It's not very fun (compared to face-to-face), but it's important.  Not speaking to your spouse all day, every day, isn't going to work out well.  Gentlemen, she won't like it and I doubt you will, either. And, no, seeing someone for 20 minutes a day is not enough communication.  Found this out really quickly.  For us, the 10 minutes in the morning that he can be awake and the 20 minutes in the evening before I doze off are not enough. Thus the importance of...

5. Date nights! Or date days. Or lunch dates. Or whatever works. Just do it. It's worth it.

I know not all of you have the same dilemmas we face.  Many married couples see each other every night and all weekend and are in the opposite boat of trying to make time for friends.  But for those of us who face opposite work schedules, I hope our ideas help! We're still learning, so if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them!

xoxo Susannah

Confessions of the husband kind

We're big fans of marriage around this blog. We think it's pretty fun. It can also be pretty mysterious until you're in it and you're thinking to yourself "Why did no one TELL me that husbands are just as moody as my girl friends are?" (Fact.) Well, here at Newlywed Studio Living...we want to take the mystery out of marriage  (for the singles) and have a discussion about the crazy stuff our spouses do (for the marrieds)

Confessions of the husband kind:

1. My husband is neat. I am not. 

     Look. I understand I'm messy. I like to think it's because my mind is preoccupied with other things, but frequently it's that I just doesn't occur to me to wash the dishes until I need a dish. This is not the way my husband thinks. If this sink is full, it needs to be emptied. (I mean, he's not ocd about it, but when he can no longer use the faucet, it starts to bug him). Point is: Your husband has quirks just like you do. They might (read: will) drive you crazy, but you've got to learn how to deal with them.

2. The laundry.
Has anyone else noticed that the ammount of laundry you're doing has somehow tripled despite the fact that there is only one more additional person in the house? Maybe it's just me and my husband, but my lands, the laundry!

3. Exsperation, thy name is newlywed.
There is something about living with your significat other that is equal parts Disney wonderful and "My lands, who ARE you?"
It is wonderful when my husband and I cuddle on the couch and he strokes my hair to calm me down. (Yes, I am essentially a cat)
It is exasperating as heck when I explain to him that no, checking 6 books out from the library is not in fact a lot.
It is wonderful that he lifts heavy objects when we move. (I mean, I probably could...but it would be more difficult)
It is exasperating when we are moving/packing and I literally don't know what's going on (because he has a plan) and stand in a room saying "Tell me what you want me to do" (No joke, this happened at least a dozen times while we were recently moving)

Point is: Living with your love is AWESOME. Except there's this weird relationship where because you love them so much, they have the ability to annoy the hell out of you like no one else.
I think it has something to do with the sex......

4. Sex
This is not graphic. No dirty secrets shall be spilled here. (You have to get at LEAST two martinis in me before that happens ;) ) I will simply say this:
I am discovering that sex is important. It's important to have a lot of it. (I'm talking (ideally) at least every 48 hours here)
There's something about it that brings you closer* and makes you both happy** and your marriage...better.
It's kind of hard to explain. Just do it. Pun fully intended.

*Duh, right?
**Again, duh.