On marriage.

Marriage is hard.
I say this a lot.
And it's not because I don't love my husband. I love him to death. He makes me giddy, and happy and he makes me feel so so loved. I think he might be the most amazing man I've ever known.
And I say that marriage is hard a lot (especially to my single, longing to be married friends) because I feel like it's important to be honest about marriage. There's still a perception that getting married is a fairy tale. That once your married your life is fun and romantic and giggly and just fantastic.
And parts of it (most of it even!)are.
But parts of it are days where the love of my life annoys the hell out of me.

So we're learning.

We're learning to fight cleanly.
Sometimes that means biting my tongue and NOT saying the witty but incredibly mean remark that pops into my head.

We're learning to fight openly.
Sometimes that means venting my emotions at him. We both yelled the other day in the car. This is remarkable because we try very hard to never yell at each other, and are mostly successful. It's important to fight cleanly, yes. But sometimes you can't be calm and clear. Sometimes, you just have to let your frustration out.

We're learning that making each other laugh during fights is the best thing in the world.
Oftentimes when we're arguing one of us will do something ridiculous or just veer off into another topic entirely. I'm sure it wouldn't work for most couples. But for us? It helps.

We're learning to be in close proximity, and touching, during fights.
It is very very hard for me to be mad at my husband when I'm holding his hand or hugging him. It takes away the anger and just leaves the issue.

But mainly we're practicing forgiveness. We fight sure, but two to five minutes after the fight, my husband has cracked a joke or I've said something wildly inappropriate and we're back to being us. Which to me, is what it's all about.

You're going to fight. It's normal. You live with this person, you have sex with this person*, and you spend a crap ton of time together. You're a family. So they're going to irritate you. The thing to remember is that you love them...even when they're in the midst of annoying the hell out of you.**

*I mean, hopefully.
**This is obviously much easier said then done.